Happy

My mantra that has gotten me through so much in the past few months is: "Do not fear. Be of good cheer. For I, the Lord am with you and stand by you."

It's adapted from D&C 68:6. When I first read this in a talk by Pres. Monson it hit me hard, and I knew it was for me. It took a while for it to simmer in my mind. How in the world could I be of "good cheer" at a time like this? When so much in my life was falling apart and there where so many emotionally painful moments from the cancer and from other really hard things going on. Then one day the answer came, "because Jesus Christ has overcome the world." D&C 16:33 (These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.)

I didn't understand at first, but over a few months I tried trusting Him and not my fears. I tried choosing to be happy and enjoy the good in my life. It was super hard.

Weeks after trying to be happy, Taylor and I had a big discussion about happiness. He said that he had come to the realization that happiness is using your agency wisely. When you look at life and think about all the unknown and all that you can't control it gets really frustrating. But if you look at it knowing that the only thing you can control is how you RESPOND to everything that happens. This was a game changer for me. The only thing I can control is how I respond?! What?! We had quite the talk. I emerged feeling in control of myself, excited, no...giddy! I had found a huge answer to happiness. Choice in how I respond to everyone and everything was the only thing I have the responsibility to control. It's so simple. So beautiful.

From that moment of realization on, when I would start getting frustrated at something or someone, or a big hairy fear came, my talk with Taylor would eventually would to mind and I would feel in control of myself again. I can't even fully explain how excited and happy it makes me feel! Maybe not always in the moment of decision, but after I respond (especially if what I chose was in line with what I understand to be true).

So great!

2 Nephi 2 has a lot to say about this.

I believe the Savior has been standing near me during the hard and the good. I believe I can be of good cheer because of what He's done and keeps doing for me.  Whenever I give him one of my sins or ask him to carry something with me, I feel his willingness, his love. I believe in him. I believe he has power to help me overcome this world, one piece at a time.